One is not Born, but rather becomes, women

This quote is from a book called "The Second Sex"  and english translation of "Le Deuxième Sexe" authored by Simone de Beauvoir.

As I started going through the book , I wondered, what are we, even in this so called modern , privileged society, are we human or just our genders?

I know people might argue , yes that's why there are some gender specific roles that only a male or a  female is assigned to, because they are better candidate to do it.But doesn't that feel irrational, why are their so many men identifying as women and women as men. But for now let's stick to traditional genders.If I talk about physical labour related work or carrying child related things ,yes, definitely yes, their are gender specific roles. I agree! I am not arguing on the fundamentally designed biological level arguments. People argue because wherever it's a risky job even when an opportunity is given to women, they hesitate ,women just don't shows up, what else of all the rights do you want?I am not talking about that right now.

 But for argument's sake I will still answer that.

For about 12000 years of humanity's civilizational history women have been strategically brainwashed on almost all the occasions to identify themselves as a second gender, an irrelevant subject , the other one and now all of sudden you come up and give them a few pity rights , mind you they are pity for you, to "this second gender" they are still very new and big, and you are expecting them to just show up on the job that you have been keeping them away from, for generations.

What I was talking about is when it comes to having opinions , when it comes to philosophy, when it comes to equal opportunities, yes still that, and most of all an upbringing where they get to grow up just like another kid of the no gender, not like someone else's property. I am talking about times when our discussions start ending towards the shit like women being nothing without men, or father giving away his child to someone else, only because it happened to have an extra X chromosome, "you think so and so, or more often believe so because you are women or a girl", "oh you haven't seen the world yet"," oh you are too fragile", "oh you are too emotional" , can I also be allowed to say in response "oh you behave the way you behave because of your harmones", and even if I say that, that would be something you will be supported of, A women would would only stand up and give them a pass by saying "they are men, they are supposed to be like that, girls should take care". A marriage which is supposed to be a private affair between two people and god, if you have faith.Even in that there is a special ceremony in every wedding in almost all cultures where women's birth parents formally hand her over to someone else, like it's done with a girl, will you be alright if your birth parents did this to you, gave you off actually? I know this might taste like poison and this might sting a lot of men like a scorpion stung but it's the truth, can they all do it all if replaced for these roles forever in the name of culture, tradition or whatever?Can they  be there for their female partner like there partner can be for them, even the thought of it will provoke them, and that's what I am talking about.If that angers them so much , and they have the right to be angry upon this, then why a women is not allowed to be angry upon these same things,  why is she taught and expected to take all this up with the smile on her face, what if she also starts running  around in her new home now, throwing tantrums like the men in her house do, every time there is even a slightest hint of a tiff, because she is a women, instead she is expected to be patient.She can't ,she never can, because if she does that , it will become a punishable offence by the virtue of her "character" ,because the men in her house, almost all houses, even when they were boys , they have seen their mothers accepting all this with the same smiling face like nothing happened, and known this as only acceptable way. Their mothers have seen their own mothers doing the same and learned from them ,but no one has ever actually asked why is this only that way always? Why men only by being the virtue of men are not aware of the mental torture and harrasment their partners keep going through, are unaware of , why do they chose to keep it remain unseen? The place which is called home and is  supposed to be a safe haven for everyone, is mostly a playground of power dynamics in most of the traditional houses.Ignoring a women's feeling and existense is such normal norm that people don't even think about it which either leads to a complete emotional, mental & physical disruption of a female over time in silence, wasting her life and enegy, or results in a total submission, which doesn't even allows her to feel what she could have felt as a free individual, resulting again in a life wasted,very few of the females are fortunate enough to realise this, rest of them don't even realise what is happening to them and their whole life is actually wasted. Why can't two people who decide to live a life together, be together just like equal partners?Why isn't this acceptable both ways with similar condition in a regular general scenario?

Only because patriarchy has benefitted women equally or may be far more on several occasions, they don't have to die during the wartime, if their is an emergency they get the first exit, they don't have to be a part of any financial decision making which is a tedious job in itself ,go through all the legality troubles that follow, they don't have to worry about being the bread winner of the family , the pressure has been off the table for them for so long that they have forgotten that there was a time when they used to be equal partners in hunting and gathering in the wilderness and dense forests with men shoulder to shoulder, except for the times, they were either birthing or it was a monsoon season, all the memory that's left behind now, is from the domesticated times, when they started getting counted in the properties of men, how many cattle , land and women, men owned defined them, they transformed from being a human , an individual, a full grown adult to a piece of property, a little flower, a secondary extension , a lesser versions of the only human left behind in the human race.These domesticated women in their  comfortable little household became the center of false power to others around, which ofcourse eventually , loaded them with a delusional sense of power for all the irrelevant things , and made them have a belief system so hard and strong for sticking to their newly defined roles for so long.Giving up all the privileges that follow this bondage ,can  not, would not and will not be easy ever, it's a system now.

All this while there have been so many exemplary women, every once in a while, who tried to and even left the stage for not being defined by these fantasies, but to carve something on their own.Few we know, a lot we don't.Today, in this twenty first century, we all keep talking about feminism a lot, a lot of us understand all this, men who understand this are sharing an equal platform with women, and few of them who don't , even they are sharing the platform because either they are trying to understand or they have FOMO or assume it to be the coolest novelty to do, or be the bigger person , whatever may the reason be, still these definitions are changing, hard stone cold roles are melting their boundaries.A lot of women and men are still fighting on the behalf of other women(few among them are aware of what's happening and few don't even have that awakening yet and might never have) calling themselves feminists. You all have a share in the fight for women rights or fight against patriarchy, but is that even practical, doesn't it reflect how unhappy they all have been defined in a feminine role or whatever roles, are we trying to just get all the rights that men have , or are we fighting to be considered human once again , a person? I believe it boils down to be once again getting us considered as a human, don't define us or even yourselves in a gender, race, colour, creed, caste etc. etc. and let us be!

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